Parenting 101

IF THE SHOE FITS Sometimes, we try too hard to control everything around us, with good intentions of course!
What do you do when your three year old son wants to commit the ultimate fashion 'faux-pas' according to your ‘I-will-never-allow-my-kids-to-wear-this’ rule?

Little C turned three in September and he already thinks he’s earned the greatest ability any child seeks, the ability to make decisions on his own and firmly stand his ground when his mami says no. It actually started way earlier, but now, it’s more serious than ever.

Great! Cute? I suppose not.

Let’s rewind to happier times when my sweet little boy was just that…sweet and little.

He always use to hold my hand and walk proudly through the parking lot at the mall. He use to give me kisses in the morning and after school without ever worrying his little amigos would see his dire need to get some sweet love from his mami before parting ways.

And now……

He doesn’t want to hold my hand anymore because he is a ‘big boy’ and though he still gives me his morning and afternoon kiss at school, it is with great caution.

Little C has found his strength and has discovered he actually has the right to have his own opinion. I no longer hold the reigns. It started full force when he turned three, but, recently I realized how serious the situation has gotten.

We went shopping a few weeks ago and ended up in Liverpool (a local department store) and were looking at shoes for Mimi (what else!). When all of a sudden, from across the way, I saw my son with a huge smile on his face, running across the aisle (what seemed like a blur and in slow motion) with something ‘flashing’ in his itty bitty hands. I looked down (continue visual thinking in slow motion please) and much to my EVER SHOCKING DISMAY saw the most hideous things in his hand. A pair of black velcro runners with Spiderman all over them and blinking…no… FLASHING red lights in the rubber soles below. I nearly dropped to the ground (slight exaggeration but it goes well with the story) and yelled "NOOOOOOO" as he came running towards me.

Conversation follows...
Lil C - “Mami, can you buy me deese shooz!”
Me – “Oh babe, aren’t they…um… ‘c..c.cute!?’…HOW ABOUT these cool Hi-top Converse over here? Or these awesome Pumas? They’re really nice too!”
Lil C – “No mami, I want deese shooz, Spiderman…look..cool, wit dee lights!”

So. Here I was. Standing in the middle of the store as my world came crashing down. This is when I realized, the awful moment of truth, I can no longer force my son to make decisions he doesn’t agree with. I know he’s only three, but whether he’s 3 or 13 or 30, he is his own person and I am just his mother who’s supposed to listen and support his decisions. Oooh..tough one…isn’t it!?

Anyway, the store didn’t have the shoes in his size. He was disappointed and I was beyond thrilled. We left, and he was sad. This goes back to the story of his birthday party we celebrated two months ago. C wanted a Spiderman piñata, and I wanted Diego. So, I was able to convince him Diego was the dude! My sis made me feel bad. Should I have let him make the decision on his own without my input? Or, not!? I don’t know….

(I totally dig Spiderman, however the party room we rented looked like a jungle, so I thought it would be way cool to have a 'Diego' piñata rather than Spidey hanging from the vines amongst the tigers and lions and bears....oh my!?)

So, back to the shoes….

Two weeks ago, not only was Cristian awarded star child of the week for his behavior and enthusiasm at school, he was also asked to carry the Mexican flag in honour of the national anthem that is celebrated every Monday. He was totally proud of his accomplishment and cunningly used that moment as a tool to ask for 'something he really wanted'.

To be honest, there’s no guide or manual to this. No matter what your degree or the lack thereof, parenting is an entirely different major. You just have to hope every decision you make, every piece of advice you offer, every tear you dry, every smile you return, every explanation you give and every SHOE YOU BUY, is done with, love, understanding, respect and the best of intentions.

We need to learn to pick our battles.

So, that being said, I bought him the shoes. I searched the city and drove around the world. We finally found his size, and as per his request, left the store with his ‘old’ Addidas runners in the box and his 'new' flashy Spidey’s on his feet. Yep, they’re bright alright….and we nearly stopped traffic crossing the street…..

NOTE: I've convinced him these are 'special shoes' and should only be worn at school. Oddly enough, he fell for it. Point for mom!!

THE END!