Where Is My Kansas Toto?

It's been a while. I know.
I have nothing but great things to say about my new life as a mother of TWO. I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights thinking about my insta-family. Three years in Mexico has brought me two beautiful babies and a new appreciation for life. Up until now, I relished the idea of some day returning home - back to the Tdot. Having two kids away from everyone has been challenging, at times I feel overwhelmed, too overwhelmed to put into words. I always use the excuse of being away from ‘home’ for feeling the way I’ve been.

‘You can never go back, only forward’, holds true especially once you’ve been removed from an area for any period of time.

After I spent five weeks in Toronto this summer, I realized many things, and some things that I’m still trying to figure out for myself. I keep complaining of missing 'home' and needing to be around my 'family', when in reality, my family is right here with me everyday, and home to my two Mexican born children, is right here where they belong!

Exceptional weather year round, rows of beautiful palm trees everywhere, friendly faces on the streets, and an endless ocean less than an hour away…why would anyone want to give this up?

As far as my kids know, Hermosillo IS there home. So, when I complain about wanting to be back in Toronto, I guess I need to figure out if being back in Toronto is really what we want…moving forward…from this point on…

Is it the comfort of my own house that I miss when I’m visiting Canada? Or is it the tranquility of Mexico that has me so confused?

WHO KNOWS?

I need to see a therapist.

Maybe it’s a post-partum thing I’m going through, after all, how can I choose to live somewhere with no highways and shopping malls?

(Very easily!)