Perfect. It's Just Perfect. Or Not.

I’m a mom on the verge of a mild mommy breakdown. Ok, fine, 'breakdown' is too harsh a word. I’m a mommy in need of advice.

My baby bear turned one in September and we celebrated this ever so festive occasion by throwing him an authentic Mexican Fiesta outdoors in Toronto (in early October – imagine how ‘tropical’ we felt when a sudden downpour of rain and a cold gust of wind happened to pass by that very afternoon). The party was a success and my little man was totally adorable in his Mexican serape and miniature sombrero. We spent 3 weeks in Toronto, and I couldn’t wait to come back to Hermosillo. Don’t get me wrong, I love being with everyone up north, but I guess having been raising my son away from everyone and doing my ‘own things’ with him has led me to be an independent mom who doesn’t necessarily need much help – nor advice – from others. Nor, do I need constant badgering of who he looks like – or insistence on who he doesn’t look like - all irrelevant and very annoying.

Now that most of my friends are becoming parents, it’s safe to say we are able to share stories and compare anecdotes about this newfound journey called ‘motherhood’. Though we are blessed, it sure comes with certain outside pressures that were never thought of before. The pressure to be a perfect parent, make perfect decisions and always be a perfect role model for our off springs. Well, it ain’t possible to be perfect all the time – especially when there are other elements involved – ie. lack of sleep, cranky baby, dogs bark waking up the entire family, house alarm going off during nap times, the list can go on and on. One thing’s for sure, as far as our little one’s are concerned – MOMMY is always perfect…and MOMMY is always right!

Our new house has been great. The set up is indeed perfect for little C to play and walk around in. So long are the days with me chasing Cristian up and down a thousand marble steps. Again. I can’t say it’s been ‘perfect’……the infestation of termites we had last month definitely plays a role in my opinion. Not a big deal really, I’d much rather have these little critters running around – or, rather ‘eating around’ than the big fat cucarachas that were part of our family in the other house. The fumigation took place a few weeks back and we’re good for another year. Now, the part I need the most advice on. This problem being solved would indeed help make things close to perfect! What do you do, when you have a neighbor living next door with the world’s most annoying dog constantly barking at your son’s window, waking him up from his peaceful sleeps? Well, as a mother, a nice shot of tequila seems to be the only answer (to calm thy nerves), however, given my current physical state of ‘pregnant-ness’ that’s not possible. So we’ve spoken to our wretched neighbors several times – to no avail. I’m on the verge of a breakdown. Every time I hear that dogs loud, squeaky yelp, my blood boils to new levels and I can’t help to feel the urge to a) go outside and pepper spray the shit out of the small French poodle b) run him over with my car (ouch – yes – cruel), or c) throw over some tacos à-la-laxative (to teach him a really shitty lesson). Whatever the solution may be, we need to think of it sooner rather than later. With baby #2 on the way, I can’t imagine waking up to a symphony every morning…. “(Dog) Wooff Woof, (baby) waaa waaa, (Cristian) mama mama… dog) Wooff Woof, (baby) waaa waaa, (Cristian) mama mama…” SUICIDE!

Aside from that, things have been great. I’ve been attending yoga classes four times a week, and am officially in charge of publishing a monthly newsletter for the ESIA Committee (group of foreign ladies mostly from the American embassy with monthly events and a variety of organized activities.) I am also part of a committee organizing a Christmas party for the local orphanage called Casa De Los Niños. The party will be held December 8th. I am really excited to be able to share the Christmas cheer with children who are without ‘family’ – at a time when family matters most – living in constant wonder of what will become of their fate. It will definitely be an emotionally rewarding experience.

Cristian’s been getting bigger and bigger by the day. He started walking earlier this month and his vocabulary is broadening by the minute. Some of his words include: agua, tamales, adios…oh, and his favourite word – assho! Don’t ask. Just picture us walking down the aisles at the grocery store, as Cristian blurts out “Assho” to every Juan, Jose and Fernanda that walks by. Thank goodness not everyone speaks or understands English here. Funny? SO NOT funny! But cute? I'll give it that.

As for me. I am feeling great and am currently in my 21st week of pregnancy. Aside from the nasty blue veins popping out of my right leg, all’s been well. (Yes ladies, I recently developed a nasty case of varicose veins – thanks to baby #2) Sucks. Oh well, what can I do – but raise my legs on a pillow and wear granny thigh-high stockings. Gosh, how unattractive – I wish they would at least make those things in a nice shade of midnight balck – or ‘fish net’ would be an even better option. Talk about ruining an ‘already getting fat & feeling unsexy’ pregnant woman’s ego. Ladies, any advice on this matter would be much appreciated also.

And that’s my story. It’s been a while, I know, I suck. I’m only a perfect mom (wink wink)….I can’t be perfect at everything…..