Chapter 2006

So much has already happened this year;
it’s hard to remember it all.
My baby celebrated his first New Year’s party.
My baby was baptized.
A new beginning will bring new offsprings.
Friendships continue to grow.
Travel continues to be harder.
Saying good-bye gets sadder.
Weddings are eagerly being planned.
And so on…

Oh…..and I turned 30 last month.

I guess that’s the part I forgot.
Or maybe, my subconscious mind has found a convenient way to block that part of my life. Turning 30 – before it actually happened – meant just another year. I wasn’t the least bit concerned about my reaction to this dreaded milestone. So then why the morning of my birthday did I wake up crying? Hmmm…not sure I can explain it. I wiped my tears and made my way to the kitchen where my over joyous parents were eagerly waiting to give me a ‘Happy 30th Birthday' kiss. That moment quickly went downhill when my dad so proudly hugged me and said “Happy Birthday. You are now 1/3 into your life!” I looked at him with dismay, couldn’t believe what he was saying. To which he responded… “What, be happy, most people would say your life is halfway over!” WHAT??? What is this man saying??? Does he want me to hang myself???

My day continued on the same course of despair. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. I felt old and getting older by the second. All I kept thinking was being thirty only means life has no more room for errors. At least in my twenties, mistakes were accepted as part of a learning process. Now, all my decisions have to be made wisely– as an adult, in her 30’s.

So, as I drove around Scarborough in my dad’s van, listening to 103.5, I couldn’t help but feel the need to change the radio station. Maybe 30 means no longer listening to mainstream pop music, maybe I now have to succumb to a slower paced ‘older person’ radio station? Is there such a thing? Maybe it’s time to cut my hair short?

“SNAP OUT OF IT MARYANN..IT’S NOT THAT BAD!”
Here are a few positive things to think about:
1. People tend to achieve the most in their thirties - think about Henry Ford. His best stuff was done in his thirties. (I can't think of anyone else, but I'm sure there is - there has to be!)
2. If you don’t have children, you aren’t considered a ‘grown up’ until you are thirty six. That’s six more years of mayhem!
3. Women are in their physical prime in their early thirties – in spite of what you might be told. This is that oh-so magical combination of strength, endurance, and courage.

I know who I want to be with for the rest of my life. I know who I am. I know how to get there! I know how to care for another being. I know how to live on my own. I know how to deal with pain. I know how to deal with joy. I have a better idea of who I am than I did in my twenties. I'm not so hung up on trying to get everyone to like me and I no longer believe I have to be the thinnest (just had a baby), most popular (don’t know too many people in this city), smartest person in the world in order to be happy. I have learned to appreciate the small things in life and not get so upset about the big things. I've loved and lost and therefore I appreciate love even more now. I've made new friends and said good-bye to old ones and appreciate them both. I'm smarter than ten years ago, in some ways, but I know knowledge is not always a forward progression – I learned a lot in Kindergarten.

So my day continued to improve. As I drove around in my dad’s van, listening to Madonna’s latest tunes, I began to realize I wouldn’t change or exchange anything in my life. I was happy…overjoyed at my new found appreciation for turning 30.

I AM HAPPY TO BE AGING!

If this keeps up, forty will be even more awesome. And if anyone dares to call me ‘old’ again, I’ll show them...better yet, I’ll run over them with my dad’s van…after all, I have better insurance now!