One Man...and a Baby!

I think I have separation anxiety.

Is that possible?






My earliest experience was a couple of weeks ago when I went to Bren’s sister’s bridal shower. This was my first official night out since giving birth. I got all dressed up... even took a shower (something I took for granted pre-baby) and gave V special tips for what was meant to be a relaxing evening for both of us. That ‘relaxing’ evening swiftly came to a halt when I phoned home from the restaurant to check in on my boys…..

V sounded strained as the little guy shrieked in the background.
“He’s been crying..actually…SCREAMING since you left...but that’s ok, don’t worry about coming home, and enjoy your evening.”

RIGHT – AS IF THAT’S POSSIBLE!

I quickly got up, excused myself and drove home as fast as I possibly could! While all along thinking “Oh my boo, he’s crying, he’s sad his mommy left...how could I have done this to him?”
When I got home, it was a sight to remember. A variety of bottles were tossed around the coffee table - some with milk, some with water and others just empty. V was sitting on the couch… holding the baby’s soother plugged into his wee mouth…as I walked down the stairs….the little guy looked up at me mercifully with his big eyes as if to say “Mommy…help, daddy has the soother so far down my throat It’s touching my tonsils!”
I quickly took him in my arms and within minutes he was fast asleep.

The interrogation began…

Question:
“Did you take him around the ‘stations’ I have set up in our living room? (Vibrating chair, swing, play pen?)”

Answer:
“YES. I went into EVERY station ten times…I even made up my own stations.”

Question:
“Did you juggle the squeaky balls and sing Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer all at the same time?” (He LOVES that!)

Answer:
“I juggled, danced, sang Rudolph AND Frosty the Snowman as loud as I could.”
(Can anyone picture V doing that??)

Question:
“Did you walk around the house with baby in arms while listening to Green Day, Cold Play or Salsa & Meringue?”

Answer:
“I walked around the house…around the backyard… upstairs…. downstairs… NOTHING WORKED!”

I wish I had a hidden camera.

After my question/answer period ended it was time to deliberate.

I felt guilty as ever for going out. Is this normal? I mean, the second I came home…baby was calm…baby was content…baby fell asleep. Did he miss me as much as I did him? Or was he just having a bad night? Why do I feel THIS attached? Is it because I am home alone with him all the time? I am already dreading the thought of passing baby around when we come for our visit to Toronto. Everyone is excited for his arrival and I know everyone is going to take him from me…hold him…caress him…and love him. All of this is great…….but the question is…am I going to be ok with that?

What is wrong with me? Is this called ‘separation anxiety’ or am I a pathetic mom who is unwilling to share her precious offspring with others?

Anyone know of a good therapist?