I am in a total darkness, but the warm water surrounding me soothes me. Gently, the rhythmic movement rocks me back and forth. Sometimes, I let her know I’m here, then she gently rubs her stomach, delighted that I am alive and well. I am alive in you and I am happy.
Suddenly, the calm is broken. I feel like I am being shoved about…it’s not as peaceful as it was before. It looks like I may have to leave this place….
All is well again. I feel a breath on my cheek. Tender words are being murmured into my ear and the warmth of her body makes me feel well again.
I feel so good, snuggled up next to her. She is stroking me and covering me with kisses. She puts me to her breast, we love each other.
Little by little, I can make out this face and its smile comforts me. I give it a name, I call it Mother.
Oh endless source of love and comfort today let me tell you that I love you.
Francine Boisvert, January 1992
He will be six weeks on Wednesday!
Cristian Gianni Perri Degirmencioglu (yes, we changed his name around a bit) has been a true blessing and a great little addition to our family. Last week, he became an official Mexican citizen. We went to register him at the government office and were told all 'Mexicans' require to carry both their father's AND mother's last names. So, that being said my little guy had the privilege to add my fourteen letter maiden name to his birth certificate. As funny as that sounds, I have to say a part of me is happy about his extended name!
Life has definitely been very different since our bundle made his way into this world. For starters, I am yet to sleep more than four hours straight. I feel like a walking zombie and haven’t been able to differentiate my days from one another. Mondays feel like Fridays… and Sundays feel like Wednesdays.
I have heard many times over the first three months are the hardest. I guess I can see why. The little guy eats, sleeps, has his diaper changed frequently and cries. All seem pretty simple right? Well, it’s not. The most frustrating part of all has been trying to determine the reason for his tears. Is he hungry? Dirty? Hot? Cold? Bored? Feeding time has also been interesting. Cristian loves his milk - formula from the bottle and milk from his mom. My breasts have never been exposed to the public as much as they have been the past six weeks. My new name ought to be Mildred and a bell should be hung around my neck. Get the picture?
His one month pediatrician appointment was two weeks ago, at which time we learned he weighs 9.9lbs. The doctor laughed and couldn’t resist but point out his ‘cachetes’ (cheeks) as we stood by his side wondering if we are overfeeding our little cub. Could we be? Should we put him on a diet? When we asked the doctor, he laughed and gave us a reassuring reply… “Babies eat…babies grow. He’s doing well and his weight is within the norm.” Whew, I thought!
It’s been great. My little man has brought such joy to our lives words can’t even describe. I feel truly blessed. My favorite part has been when he falls asleep on my chest and makes little sighing noises to reassure me he is content. I put on music and dance with him in my arms...I just melt….it’s definitely worth the sleepless nights…
