It’s a Thug’s life!

Some of the kids in my group!!!

WEDNESDAY December 15, 2004

Today was our dress rehearsal. I instructed the kids to dress like rappers, not so much like gangsters, but mainstream good-guy-hip-hop-artists. Being the enthusiastic teacher that I am, I woke up this morning with the idea to get decked out myself (a good excuse not to wear my ever-so-NOT stylish uniform). I threw my hair in a high ponytail, put on my baggy cargo jeans, my Puma t-shirt, big hoop earrings, a chain necklace and of course wore my bright lipstick...

My Alumnos at IMARC

Students getting ready to watch rehearsals!!
I got to school just in time to see the chairs being filled with anxious students from all grades and eager parents trying to get a sneak preview....

Two of my students anticipating their turn!!
My students looked AWESOME, INCREDIBLE…to say the least. They were nervous. We made our way to the stage and found seats near the front. Grade by grade, kids were performing various traditional Christmas songs, plays and poems. Grade 1…grade 2...grade 3...then finally came our turn…GRADE 4!! I cheered them on…gave them a pep talk, and off they went to line up. The music started and the show began. I was amazed. The dancing, the coordination, everything came along magnificently. Kids in the audience were clapping to the beat, parents were stomping their feet. I was a proud teacher!! When the music stopped……the kids were pleased and happy with the results. I gave them all high fives and told them they were awesome!!
Tomorrow is the big night. Tomorrow is when the sky will be dark, the lights will be aimed brightly, and the night will be filled with an excitement we have all been looking forward to….I will tell you all how it goes!!

¡La Vida es Mejor, Muy Loca!

Life is better, getting very crazy!!

Ok, my last little rant has quickly faded and the overwhelming response has cleared away my thoughts of being abandoned. Fine…I was wrong. I haven’t been forgotten.

We are only two weeks away from the holidays and much to my surprise my social life has picked up some. I have a social life in Hermosillo, Mexico? You got it! In less than 4 months I have developed a mediocre “social life” that seems to be serving it’s purpose for the time being. A few weeks back, I was invited to a cook-out at a fellow teacher’s house. Everyone buys there own meat, brings their own cerveza and sits around in the backyard taking-in the upbeat sounds of the mariachi music. It was so much fun! It was my first real fiesta, in a typical Mexican home high above the mountain.

This coming week will also be filled with madness. The school is holding its annual Christmas pageant and all the classes have to sing, dance or say a poem. Well, I decided to purchase a CD from Toronto called Jingle Jams, and have the kids sing and dance to a hip hop tune called I Love Christmas. Much to my surprise, they have been able to learn the lyrics and mumble through some words that are difficult to pronounce (rap can be a bit challenging for non-native English speakers). In any case, they are doing surprisingly well. I have also choreographed a dance we’ve been practicing for the past 5 weeks. Watch out Britney, I have some fascinating moves of my own!

Last night (Saturday), we were invited to attend something called a Pastorela at my friend Brenda’s parent’s house. It’s a Mexican tradition where they celebrate the Shepherds arrival in Bethlehem to worship the birth of baby Jesus. Apparently, the Shepherds announced Him to be the Archangel of San Miguel. On the road to Bethlehem, they had to fight against seven mortal sins represented by the devils; helped by the Archangel, who finally succeeded on evil. The objective of the Pastorela is for the Shepherds to find a safe place for baby Jesus to sleep.

Our experience being part of this fiesta was very enchanting. We got to their house just in time to see how the festivities take place. Half the guests were standing outside holding candles, while the other half were inside. Those who were outside started singing a song asking for permission to enter for baby Jesus to sleep, after three tries at various windows around the house, the residents finally invited them in. Walking around with candles in hand, the family entered the house and continued to sing songs. The entrance was followed by the breaking of a piñata and eating traditional Mexican food. It was an amazing experience to witness the celebration. Such warm and loving people, it was truly captivating!

Now for the big news, something that is bound to make a few of you chuckle. I recently started taking private Spanish lessons at school and doing very well, if I may say so myself! Knowing this, the English Program coordinator at IMARC decided I would be the Master of Ceremonies at the school’s concert this week. And, not only will I speak in English, but SPANISH AS WELL!! Umm…ok, not quite sure how that’s going to pan out! I didn’t know how to react. Should I be flattered? Excited? Do they really think I’m capable? Or are they making a spectacle out of me, thinking it will add a special zing to this year’s presentations? Ay caramba! What have I gotten myself into? For those of you interested, my beloved husband has vowed to tape the entire thing.

Well, less than a week to go before I fly home for the holidays… I can’t wait to see everyone!

* Here are some interesting things I learned in my first week of Spanish classes:

Estupido (stupid) is very offensive in northern Mexico however not as much in the Southern part of the country. (Does that make Marc Anthony the controversial Eminem of latin music?!)

Tonto (dummy) is not nearly as offensive in Northern Mexico and widely used amongst children and adults here in Sonora.

Burro (donkey) is a not-so-nice word referring to someone as a donkey, equivalent to idiot.

Now that I think about it, one of my students called me a ‘burra’ not too long ago!!

Little bugger, I’ll show him!

Hope you all enjoy the holidays!!!

I Am Thankful For...

...and I am cranky today!

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and by the time you're done reading this, I'm sure you too can agree. Not sure if it's due to the long extended hours the guys are putting in, but I have been fairly lonely this passed week. I had plans to go out with my friend B from school, but sadly, she too had a rough week so we had to post pone. Don't get me wrong, I'm still totally thrilled to be here and wouldn't change it for the world, but, I guess there are times like this when I will feel a little sad.

Today's lesson in class included writing a five sentence paragraph on what my students are grateful for. With the U.S. celebrating Thanksgiving this week, I encouraged my students to take a step back and evaluate the things in their lives that makes them happy. So, I took a moment myself, to think about my life as a whole and create my own list. I pondered on some stuff I am NOT grateful for. While my list included mostly positive things such as my loving family and amazing friends, I cannot resist but stress the things I am not too happy about… here it goes…

False promises…broken words… whatever you wanna call it, it’s all the same!

I am not thankful for people who are capable of committing this ultimate sin, as far as I’m concerned. It seems easier for some, more than others, to say things without the intent to act on their words. Some people are there only when it’s convenient for them, while others will always be there till the end, through thick and thin. I have been here now for 3 months, and have found the truth in who I thought would really stick by their words. Now, realistically speaking, maybe I am being harsh, actually, I probably am being too harsh, after all, everyone has a life of their own. I am not complaining nor am I whining, just stating the facts as they are. I guess it’s human nature, a way to diverge the truth to gain self gratification and feel good about it at the moment.

It’s ok. These kinds of experiences have not only made me aware of my surroundings, but also attentive of the wicked ‘false promise’ that surrounds us constantly.Yes, I woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning, and have had a harsh dose of ‘reality check’.

Have I learned my lesson? False guarantees will always be around us, people making promises without the intent to deliver. So, maybe ‘inexpensive calling cards' are also a hoax?? Hmmm…

Think about your day, and wonder how many times you make a false promise to a friend, family member, spouse or co-worker? Even if it’s not in a malicious manner, we all do it, I suppose. Whether it’s to ‘promise’ we will meet a deadline at work, even if we know it is nearly impossible, or commit to a night out with friends even if we know we will have to cancel at the last minute. Whether it’s to keep the young ones happy and calm, or make the older ones get off our back. It’s like the movie Liar Liar, only, that was just a movie, while this is the real thing!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!

An Instant Spark with a Perfect Match

Perfect. Complete in all respects.

Tom Cruise said it best when he professed his undying love to actress Renee Zellweger in the movie 'Jerry Maguire'. “You complete me!” are the famous words that took Americans and Canadians by storm! You complete me? Is there such a thing or is it some made up phrase that realistically bears no truth in the actual world? Are we really able to find the perfect match, and if so, how do we know what the term ‘perfect match’ truly means? Some people think opposites attract while others deem most ‘perfect matches’ talk alike or even look alike. Does this hold true? If so, is there studied evidence to demonstrate these assumpations?

Here I stand - a living, breathing witness with proven answers to my own mind boggling question. After a two year experience of witnessing it first hand, I know now the answer lies true, ‘perfect matches’ do exist, and my sister is living proof, here is their story…

Everyone knows her for her quirky sense of humor and sarcastic demeanor. Everyone loves her. He came into her life after several heartaches only to sweep her off her feet and show her that no two people are more alike than they. He’s tall, fair and handsome as they come. With shoulder length blond hair and blue eyes he captured her heart at first glance. She, on the other hand is fairly petite with long curly dark hair and dreamy fluttering eyes. They met 2 years ago, and have remained best friends since their first encounter. While most people find it challenging to understand my sister’s silly sense of humor, the two of them understand each flawlessly. They care for each other in such a way their presence together exudes adoration and compassion. They love their Thursday night Pizza outings; enjoy traveling, shopping, and most of all, doing it all together. They can sit out till the wee hours in the morning and talk non stop about anything under the sun and the moon.

He taught her how to be strong. She taught him how to be open. They both brought so much love into their expedition two yeas ago that it will, no doubt, last them this lifetime and the next. They are carefree and free spirited and have a love for life in every aspect.

They are now engaged and will take their magical relationship onto a new journey bound for a lifetime of experiences. Their wedding is a year and a half away….and I am sure it will be just as beautiful as they are. They are the true epitome of a perfect match and have proven my theory to hold true. There is such a thing. My definition is simple. A Perfect Match is when mutual love is shared between two willing people. It is when respect is their lifelong goal and enjoying an existence together is their mission!

It's a Boy Story!

Ok. I have succumbed to the war between men and women, for now anyway. I am outnumbered, and there’s no way out. It’s been exactly two weeks since I’ve been living with two men, make that four males including my canine pals Rock & Roll. And, as of next week, the number will rise to five. FIVE! V’s best-friend has been great to have around……and I’m sure it will be just as nice when Rocco arrives, but, being the only female in the ‘casa’ I need to figure out a survival strategy. The remote control has been everything the name stands for – ABSOLUTELY REMOTE! I have lost power over the TV and unfortunately, my evenings now consist of watching American Chopper, Monster Garage and The Soprano’s. My Survivor, Apprentice and Bachelor days are long gone. Instead, I have to pretend I enjoy watching an obnoxious rugged man with a bad moustachegoatee combo yell at his sons as they assemble hideous looking bikes. Not my cup of cerveza! As I sit here pretending to be entertained, my mind begins to wonder. I need to find something to do. My initial idea was to export cacti to Canada as a side business to help keep me busy. Thanks to the guys, I have come up with a better plan. I will look into supplying natural gas from the comfort of my own living room. If I could supply natural gas from home, I’d be a billionaire by now. I’m afraid to light a candle with the fear of blowing up the house. Contrary to Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City, her super-embarrassing moment of farting in bed is not something these men can relate to. Instead, it’s all about ‘out-farting’ each other, that’s what brings them satisfaction and contentment. They even compare the sounds of their farts…which are louder, quieter, smellier or wetter…fascinating. I will now move on to my next revolting discovery. I woke up one morning and made my way downstairs to have breakfast and watch Regis & Kelly before heading out to school. Halfway through the show, I decided I had to pee. I walked over to the main floor washroom and was devastated to find floating particles in the toilet bowl. I nearly fainted as my peanut butter and jam toast quickly made its way back up. Just as I began to gather my composure, the muchacha (cleaning lady) showed up. I had to warn her not to clean that washroom with fears she might think it was me. That evening, I confronted the men and asked the culprit who left the remnants of last nights dinner to step forward. Instead I got two men and a plunger! They made a splashing discovery - too much paper had clogged the plumbing, yeah right, that’s all that clogged the plumbing! The problem was quickly resolved and off to dinner we went…umm appetizing.

A few evenings later, while watching TV, my lovely significant other decided to swat a fly in my direction. I felt something hit my forehead and fall to the ground. While the guys found this hilarious, I frantically jumped off my seat in desperation for someone to help remove the bits and pieces of the dead fly off my forehead. At such a desperate time of need, the response I got was devastating. The men were laughing uncontrollably as I was in hysterics bouncing around the room screaming for someone to help. No one came to my rescue.
So clearly, amongst everything I’m lacking in what makes my life normal, the thing I miss most is the companionship of a female. The only thing I have are my fashion magazines to help keep me up to date with falls latest looks, hair tips, new colors in make-up and sex tips of the month. Every now and then I blurt out things like, “Wow, tall boots and tapered pants are in this season!”, or “Do you think dark blue eyeliner will really bring out my eyes?” The reaction I get is priceless. I have to admit, at least they try to engage in conversation that doesn’t include bikes, cars or mechanics. Even though they look at me dumbfounded, their response makes me chuckle “Yes Mar, your new hair color looks great!” or “Why wear makeup, girls look better all natural!” I can’t help but laugh. All in all, it’s been fun being one of the guys and having more than one of them around has been productive. Thus far, my team of X-men have fixed the plumbing, repaired the oven along with several other things around the house. So, needless to say they are handy. Now, the only thing they need to ‘work on’ is their ability to engage in productive girl-talk with the only ‘girl’ in the house. Men, can’t live with em’, can’t live without em’!

To 'Vivre' or Not To 'Vivre'...

Joie de Vivre! Pronunciation: `jwâ du'veevru
Definition: [noun] a keen enjoyment of living
Do you ever stop and think about where you are in life? Are you happy? Are you serving your purpose? Are you making the right decisions? Are you following your hearts desire? Do you have the job you always dreamt about? Are you driving the car you always admired? Is your income where you want it to be? What really matters?

Earlier this month, ‘Shake’ returned home from a much deserved trip to France. With my inability to meet her for a coffee and divulge in the details of her trip, we decided to spend a few quality minutes on a poorly connected phone call. We discussed our key life experiences of the month and ‘Shake’s’ main concern was our ‘lack’ of time. Here’s how our conversation took place…

“How can time be flying by so fast, I can’t believe I will be turning 80 in ONLY 52 years!” she expressed with concern.
“Umm, HELLOO….there’s still another five decades before we even get there, why worry about that now. At least you’ll still be over 5’ tall, how about me? I’ll barely be three feet by the time I reach 80!” I replied.

Why is life such a constant rush? Everyone is in such a hurry to ‘get there’. Whether it’s a hurry to get the job we want, a hurry to buy a car, a hurry to get married or a hurry to meet our deadlines, we’re always running for something. If for once we can close our eyes and picture ourselves old and gray lying in a bed taking our last breath of air, what is the one accomplishment we would be proud of? Would we really stop and think about the job we had, or the cars we drove, or the money we made or didn’t make? Or would we stop and remember the life experiences we shared with our loved ones? Success is the accomplishment of the goals we set for ourselves; maybe it’s time we stop and think if our ‘goals’ are really aspirations that deserve our time and energy. It’s important to stop and smell the flowers!

Here in Mexico, it’s amazing how everyone enjoys life and how calm everyone is. My first teachers’ meeting was last week on Tuesday at 10:30am. I made sure to get to school with plenty of time to spare to ensure my prompt arrival at the meeting. Much to my surprise, the rest of the teachers calmly strolled in fifteen minutes after the scheduled time, laughing and conversing. No one was stressed, no one ever stresses, or so it seems. I have learned to do the same. I don’t rush. Nor do I stress. When any appointment is scheduled here, you can be certain either it will be a ‘no show’, or an ‘hour later’ show. The Maryann before would be freaking out. Now, I am learning to take a step back, stay calm and be patient. It’s the new ‘moi’, new and improved! Life is an escapade and has so much more to offer than worry, stress, and haste. We need to think ‘outside-of-the-box’ and make things happen. I have been agonizing the past week over a temporary gym membership I got at a local fitness club. What was my dilemma? Well, the thought of going alone scared the crap out of me. It’s funny how little we think about doing the simplest things when we are in our own element. Being in a foreign country is different. Every morning I woke up ready to go and try the new gym, then, like a young child in school, I ‘imagined’ I had a stomach ache and decided I would go the next day instead. Well, by the time I actually gained the courage to go, my temporary pass was on its second last day, what a waste! Earlier on this week,‘V’ was in Detroit so no one was home. I needed to face my fears. I got in the car, drove to the gym, and did an hour of cardio. Then, I decided I would stay for the afternoon Pilates class, but, my enthusiasm quickly faded when I saw the swarm of girls, probably the ‘regulars’, lined-up at the door ready to take the class. Was I intimidated? Yes! Not because I couldn’t do the class, but because I’m not 100% fluent in Spanish. What if the instructor asked us to lie on the ground and stretch, and I misunderstood and did a head stand instead?! CAN YOU IMAGINE?? My point is, I took the chance, earned the courage, and went to the gym! I felt great leaving the facility; I accomplished my goal for the day! I even asked for the locker key in Spanish. I’m GUUUD!!! So, lesson of the day, don’t settle for anything. Are-you- nervous-to-go-to-a-gym-in-a-foreign-country-because-you-don’t-speak-the-language-very- well – GET OVER YOURSELF and just do it! Are you unsatisfied with your job? Look for a new one. Are you unhappy in your relationship? Leave. Are you impatient? BE PATIENT! The answers are simpler than we think. Our ‘Joie do vivre’ is for us to find!! Take a trip, plan a night out, sign up for that dance class you always wanted….enjoy life, and avoid stress. This way, you’ll be sure to have significant accomplishments to think about when you’re taking your last breath, 52 years from now!

I Am Teacher – Hear Me Roar.

I have made it a constant mental note, embedded in my head. ‘You may be ‘petite’, but you are not small!’ I must be assertive. I was wearing a black and white floral stripped skirt with a black shirt and my flat shoes. I walked through the doors my head held up high. No one could tell my nerves were in shambles, at least I hoped. My first introduction was warm and loving. I followed the Program Coordinator through an outdoor walkway leading me to a classroom with windows. The curtains were being pulled in every which direction as students fought over to get a glimpse of their new teacher from Canada. The door slowly opened and in I walked. There I stood, amongst thirty-one nine year olds waiting to hear my every word, waiting to hear me speak. “Hello everyone,” I said. “Hello Meesees Perri!” the students replied. Then, like a rush of water, arms started flinging in the air, WHAT DO I DO??!?! DO I DUCK!?! Were they about to throw paper airplanes at me?! Or tomatoes?! Or tacos?! Soon after I realized they were putting their hands up to ask me questions! They wanted to know everything about me! Where am I from? How many languages do I speak? Do I speak Spanish? How old am I? Then, THE question came. A dreadful moment when I had to take a minute to think of an appropriate answer….. “Why are you so small?” WHAT? I did not just get asked that by a measly nine year old!! “Ok, think Maryann. What will be my answer?” I thought. I stopped. I stuttered. I couldn’t think?! Sweat dripped down my forehead. Could the students tell I was lost for words? My answer was – “I am small because…..” AY CRAP! I don’t remember what I said. From this day forward I have blocked that memory down with my sister’s traumatic tonsillectomy and her scar face incident. The rest is all a blur. Soon after, the bell rang and the students got up to leave. Before I knew it, a few of the little girls were lined up to give me a kiss on the cheek and a warm welcoming hug. The Program Coordinator then looked at me and said “They like you, get used to the hugs & kisses.” WOW – THEY LIKE ME?? Could it be because we have something in common – like our size? Or do they think I am totally cool? I hope it’s the latter. This is fantastic!! My first day of observing the class was last Monday. My anxiety quickly faded by recess. The kids are a breath of fresh air. The commencement of the day included three-hundred students standing in an outdoor area singing the Mexican national anthem. Each and every student proudly stood there with arms lifted to their chests, their hands on their hearts. Yep, that was a strange moment for me. Should I have done the same? Was I disrespectful for not having done the same? I don’t know. All I can say is I was grateful when it ended because the awkward moment was over. Or so I thought. Much to my surprise, I suddenly heard my name over the microphone as the English Program Coordinator called me to the front to ‘introduce the new teacher from Canada’. I felt my face turn red. Was this really happening? I stood there. Dumb founded. I was being scrutinized like a new exhibit at the zoo. A rare bread, the only 'non-Mexican' person in the school. Yep, not everyone has seen one of me. There I stood for observation…and soon, the humility was over. The rest of the day was spent in a classroom with grade 4 students. I watched the teacher give lessons in grammar, spelling and science. I watched some kids misbehave. I also watched them participate in their daily reading comprehension. It was an amazing day. I am slowly immersing into a culture that has been nothing but warm and welcoming. This past week, I have been teaching classes by myself. The kids apparently adore me, or so I was told at my first parent teacher meeting. Wow! Now, when class is over and my students prepare to leave, I have a long lineup of 9 year olds (including the boys) waiting to give me a kiss & hug good-bye. It's an amazing feeling. I am 'Meesees Perri', their favourite teacher from Canada!

Saying Goodbye Isn't Easy, See You Later Is!

Here I am. In a foreign country where the sun permanently shines, the heat is unbearable, the people are friendly and where the air is filled with the scent of burning leaves. It’s our second week in Mexico and thank goodness I had my sister & ‘K’ here to help us settle in our new home. My last two weeks in Toronto were a true test of my capabilities and strength as a person – a little person at that. It was like a full time job with crucial deadlines to be met. With my notebook in one hand and my cell phone in the other, I was determined to get things done in preparation for our departure to a new life. Saying goodbye to our friends and family was not the easiest thing to do, but verbal promises of their frequent visits have turned my sadness into anticipation. It will also be hard not having our parents nearby. I hate knowing they’re not only a few minutes away. Who will I run to for a warm parental hug or an ‘it’s ok’ when I need to hear those comforting words? No matter how far life takes us, I know in my heart our parents will always be there supporting our every move. That’s what makes things even harder. It was also heart wrenching to say goodbye to the ‘G7’ who were frequently by my side offering all their help and support. As a stream of tears rolled down my cheek, ‘Shake’ whispered in my ear “Mar, you are my ‘bestest’ friend, what will I do without you?” Those heartfelt words are what keep me believing everything will be ok.

Our voyage to Mexico was a hellish experience, to say the least. With Rock & Roll (our doggies) in their crates, my sister and I hauled them around exhaustedly, checking them in and out of two different airports and hoping they made it to their final destination in one piece. Geez, was that ever a struggle! Roll was fine, but Rock wasn’t. Even after giving him a mild sedative, he was unusually stressed out - barking at everyone in sight. Imagine a 105 lbs me, pulling a crate three times my size through the crowded walkways of Mexico City Airport. Every Pedro, Jorge, Juan and José stopped to see what lay in this large crate under my sweaty palms. Each time, Rock made it known he was there. With a ferocious growl and the shaking of the ground, it seemed like a wild animal was waiting to break loose. Picture it? Umm, SO NOT funny! Upon our arrival in Hermosillo, the guys were there waiting to offer us their helping hands in ending our journey. I burst into tears. I MADE IT! All the planning, preparation and organization brought me to where I need to be. I am finally here…dogs, husband and all! Our first few days have been exhilarating. Our house is beautiful, the pool is refreshing and the city is filled with warmth and welcome. The tacos have been our favourite night time meal at a local outdoor patio called ‘Jaaz’ (pronounce YAAZ) where Mexicans gather to celebrate the flavour of their most prized dish. A soft tortilla filled with cheese, steak strips, guacamole, a sweltering hot sauce and several other toppings make for the most mouth watering experience. So, all in all, it’s been ok, I suppose. It was difficult when my sister and ‘K’ left us on Wednesday; at least they were here to help make our first week as enjoyable as possible. When we dropped them off at the airport, I hugged them tight. I told my sister I will miss her and in doing so, I cried. But I did not say goodbye…even though my heart ached to see her go, I had to be strong. I looked her in the eyes, held my chin up high and forcefully blurted out the following words - “I’ll see you later!”
Because I know I will.

Thinking With the Heart!

FACT: Ancient Egyptians believed the heart was the center of intelligence and emotion. They also thought so little of the brain that during mummification, they removed the brain entirely from bodies.

I’m back. What was a long awaited trip to Greece has officially ended. Thank God. I’M SO HAPPY TO BE HOME! Yikes, maybe I’m digging a hole way bigger than it seems. Fine, clear and simple, here it is. I had a great time, lots of traveling, too much partying, great gyros, and delicious cheese pies (tyropitas) - all accompanied with the ‘not-so-nicest-people’ in the world. My experience in Greece was more like an experience to the epitome of rudeness. Though the islands were beautiful and the traveling was fun, I never met more bitter and impatient people in my life. My motto was ‘Smile, it doesn’t hurt’. This trip was also a revelation of my own being, I suppose. A revelation I never thought I could admit to, but will do so with utter honesty. Ok, here it goes, I’m taking a deep breath…ah…I couldn’t live without my V and was dying to come home to him after only the first night!!!!! What is wrong with me?!? Why couldn’t I enjoy the loneness of my being as an independent woman?? This was supposed to be a nice time away from each other before we become ‘stuck’ together alone in Mexico for 2 years. So there you go. I have admitted to the truth. I may be a strong woman whose independent posture is what keeps me proud – but, I admit being without my V for 2 weeks was the next closest thing to anguish. The saying is evidently true 'You don’t know what you have till it’s gone!' I don’t understand – why does life have to work that way? Why are we such complex creatures? The day before I left, my beloved V was telling me how much he was looking forward to having time alone…upon my return; his words conveyed the complete opposite of what he THOUGHT he wanted. I am banned from traveling alone for that length of time from this day forward. Thank goodness…or I would’ve banned my self regardless. ‘I MARYANN - AM BANNED’ from TRAVELING alone for too long. That is our new rule. I feel a sense of great relief! I know what I have and I will never let it ‘go’. But I still didn’t answer my own question: why does that happen? It’s like having curly hair and wanting straight hair. Then when it’s finally straightened – you stop and realize maybe curly was better. You’re hearts desire is to have something a certain way…but your mind tells you otherwise. What are we supposed to listen to for guidance our hearts or our brains? Clearly, 'Ancient Egyptians' didn't put much 'thought' into the importance of the brain but imagine living life following only our hearts! How dangerous would that be? Overdosing on chocolate, falling in love with someone for the wrong reasons, and buying a $10,000 purse because you know in your 'heart' it would match perfectly to your $5000.00 shoes... Sorry Ancient Egypt, I think you have it all wrong...moral of the entry, we must not lose sight of what we have, rather, be happy and enjoy the things we are blessed with. This includes the ability to smile...

Where Is My North Star?

"You have to count on living every single day in a way you believe will make you feel good about your life -- so that if it were over tomorrow, you'd be content with yourself."
Jane Seymour

Time is running out. My life in Toronto is not going to be my life anymore. By the end of next month, I will be leaving it all behind. I’m starting to feel the surge of emotions on a daily basis. Life at work is not the same. I feel I am abandoning the team of ‘Angels’ I became so close with in such a short period of time. Who will I have my daily tête-à-tête’s with regarding happiness and self-awareness? These discussions have led me to learn a lot about our planet – Venus. I never realized how so many women are absorbed with Mars in a way that forces them to forget ‘what planet THEY THEMSELVES are from’. By doing so, they’re conforming to what Mars wants out of this universe. What is up with that? Why are women so quick to change what they need and feel to ensure their significant others are happy? One of my fellow ‘Angels’ is currently trying to discover where her ‘North Star’ is. She is determined to find the cause of her pain and figure out why she hasn’t found the happiness she ultimately deserves. We deserve to lead our lives in such a way that makes us happy “most of the time”. We can’t just settle in accordance to what others have in plan.
Life experiences lead us to be the people we are today. In my case, I feel I’ve been faced with a number of challenging situations that have created the person I am. The loss of my father's well-established business was not only devastating, but a complete downfall as a family. We went from having everything, to having nothing. At fifteen years old, I had to lend a shoulder for my father to cry on, and be strong for a man who once was stronger than I. It was tough, but I stood there and always made sure we were ok, even if we were not. Life from that point on has been anything but easy for my family. It’s hard to see a unit go through an overwhelming demise as such, but it made us a team. It made me value my family more than anything. It made me who I am today. Then came my grandfather's passing. One year ago this time was when I saw my ‘dédé’ take his last breath, while holding my hand. The sadness will never escape my heart and the vision will never leave my mind. Through these and other various experiences, I have managed to turn the tough times into life lessons while reveling in my own beautiful life. The best part of my happy condition is I tend to be contagious. I am comfortable in my own skin – the world sees me as a happy person. But am I really? Most can relate, few can understand. We need to remind ourselves life isn’t about settling, dwelling and waiting. It’s about making things happen and always maintaining a positive outlook. Let the past be gone, use it to move forward…. use it to make the future better… it’s like a limited edition game…we only have one shot, really!

The Splendor of a Friend

Friend - A person whom one knows well and is fond of, an ally, supporter or sympathizer – Collins Pocket English Dictionary.
The saying ‘friends come and go’ is used frequently, especially when growing up. Fortunately, my friends have all stayed. The foundation of all our personalities I believe is strongly based on what we’ve learned and seen from those around us. My truest friends are the ones who speak like me, act like me and can eat like me. Saying this, it works the same other way around. My vocabulary consists of such sayings as “Like, can it be any colder?” or “HI…what’s up with that?” This is part of the cleverly established subliminal language of the G7 - also known as the ‘Group of 7’. We’re 7 women from similar walks of life with many different stories to tell. Our lives are like a reality show waiting to happen – all we need is to be discovered. We make a point to see each other on a bi-weekly, if not weekly, basis. The point of these get-togethers is to ‘share’ with the rest of the group, and give an update on what is happening in our lives. We laugh, we cry, we vent and we divulge. Although, I must admit, sometimes I feel like I share way more than my fellow 7-ers. Does everyone have to share the same amount? I guess it depends on how comfortable one feels about her situation and if it’s something they feel comfortable in discussing. This past weekend was our annual girls weekend away – this year’s theme was ‘Pig Fest 04’. And boy did we live up to the name. We ate like pigs, danced around a fire as though performing an Indian ritual & we baked (more like fried) on the beach with the aid of Hawaiian Tropic. In process of doing all this, we made sure to include the ‘sharing’ in our 2-day jaunt. We talked about having too much sex, or lack thereof, and described our individual experiences. It was a memorable weekend!
Each of us are on different pages in our lives. Some are married, others are dating, and one is already a mother. We’re there to give each other the best advice and support we can through whatever challenges and obstacles come our way – BUT – what if our advice to one another is too harsh? Does that make us bad friends if we give harsh advice? Or does it make us bad friends if we don’t give our most honest opinion whether or not it’s painfully bleak? I always make sure to be straightforward yet kind, that is the gift I bring to the Group of 7. I just hope my frankness doesn’t come across as being offensive and hurtful! ....Isn't honesty the best policy?

How Do We Not 'Sweat the Small Stuff?'

The weekend of June 25th was anything but normal. What started off as a relaxing Saturday at home turned out to be a hectic and nerve-wracking experience. I was driving to the drugstore to buy a few necessities when my cell phone rang with Shake devastated on the other end. She was faced with a situation that terrified her and forced her to take action by steering to the nearest emergency unit of a local hospital. We spent almost 4 hours agonizing over the unknown until we were finally told her condition was nothing to fear - baby 'K' would be all right. Having been faced with a situation as such really opened our eyes to the notion of rest and ‘taking-it-easy’. Taking it easy?? Wow, my life has been anything BUT THAT the past while. Since ‘THE SIGN’ went up last week, we were faced with multiple offers on our beloved home, and finally sold for more than the asking price. With V away I was a wreck, trying to organize our life in the best way possible. In the meantime, those close to me were experiencing the loss of a 3-month-old ‘thought’. Much to our disbelief, Shake was back in the hospital on Monday only to discover her 3 month old dream had never made it past 6 weeks. The devastation we all felt for her was beyond explanation, but now, a week after this sad news, she is doing much better and will move on with her life. A new ‘thought’ will hopefully be awaiting them in the near future. This experience has really made me re-evaluate what matters in life and how important it is to NOT sweat the small stuff. The question this time is…how do we know what is ‘small enough’ to NOT worry. Something that may be small for me can be huge for the next person?! My move to Mexico is HUGE for me…so I worry. Shake’s loss was huge for her, so she worries. What I’m trying to say here is, no matter how small or how big the matter is, depending on how passionate one may feel about the situation, it can be huge. Size does matter…depending on the individual. We are products of human nature; we can’t help but ‘sweat the small stuff’…after all, we’re women.

The Essential Ingredient to Life..to Do or Not to Do!

The Sign is up. I cried for a bit, then drank some wine. It always helps. Our move to Mexico is seeming more and more real as the process continues. Our house will be sold, belongings packed away and all our lively possessions will be stored in cardboard boxes waiting for us to claim them again. I cried all night. The G7 (my besties) knew their mission the following day would be to come over and cheer me up. So, that's what they did. We ordered Chinese, sat on my deck and talked about life. After they left, I lay in bed thinking about the philosophical conversation we had. I got a little too deep...I sometimes do that. BUT - at the same time.....jumping around with our bare boobs was getting even deeper as far as I was concerned. This morning, I turned on my computer at work, and much to my surprise, got another message from this supposed company called Trivita - is it really a company? Or is it some miraculous indication from God sending me messages from a far away place?! The note read: "Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for." My heart started to beat faster and faster and faster as I read the message. I thought "That's true, thanks 'God' for letting me know!" Now the problem lies in the hands of ME! In my next venture to the foreign land, I will definitely have 2 of the 3 ingredients to the recipe above - but lacking in one. One MAIN ONE!! Something to Love - I have plenty, Vince, my family, friends and dogs. Something to hope for - coming back home, a good life, starting a family etc... But what about the key ingredient? SOMETHING TO DO? Does this mean without 'SOMETHING TO DO' I will be missing the main grand essential to happiness in my life? Is waking up, cleaning, swimming, tanning, reading, grocery shopping, possibly teaching, CONSIDERED 'Something to do'? Are those DO-things?!? After much deliberation I have come to the conclusion that perhaps it is a sign! THE sign I have been looking for all along. I NEED to 'do' something to ensure my life is full of happiness...and to do so, I need to figure out which direction 'the sign' is pointing!!!